She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
