can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
