ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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