I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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