can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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