College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
