i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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