no you cant smoke seaweed
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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