Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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