youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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