Jerry, you need to find god
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
