Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
