i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
