One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
soo... how was my night?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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