thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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