haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
