u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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