no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
