If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Randomize
