I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How naked do you want me to be?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
