sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
