So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
