there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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