He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
