Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
