um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
