I think I am morally bankrupt
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
