I cockslap morals
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
