I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I deserve to be covered in dicks
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
