she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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