i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
