The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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