I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't deserve a penis
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
