Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
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I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.