Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize