But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night