His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.