who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
