I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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