....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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