hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
