And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
