rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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