I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
