Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
