i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
