I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
