She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
