Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
