Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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