So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
