addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
