went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
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I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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