He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
