You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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