And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My ATM looks so different sober.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
