Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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