On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
