Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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