I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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