You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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