I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
