this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
