i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
