no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
