I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
