I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Boobs speak an international language.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
