they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Maybe he injected his testicle?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
